So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
