worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
