Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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