no, he came in my armpit
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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