I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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