I accidentally had phone sex last night
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
