My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
