just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Boobs speak an international language.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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