I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How does one acquire holy water?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
