Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
