it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
