what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
