3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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