Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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