She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
