He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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