You made me cry and you don't even care
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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