I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
