I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
