We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
