Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
