this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
