they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
