You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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