she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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