How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
this beer tastes like vomit already
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
