Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
