he wants to bone in the snuggie
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
