from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was born a porn star she said
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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