you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
