yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
