If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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