We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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