i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
