i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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