I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
