im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
