alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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