ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
