big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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