im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She told me I should be a condom model.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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