Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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