absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
