belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
