I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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