dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
