We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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