Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
