Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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