Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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