I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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