Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
