We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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